Polyamorous Relationship… I’m Sorry, What?

(Original article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23726120)

The strange things you find around — we recently read the above article on BBC News about polyamorous relationships, which is defined as “the practice of having simultaneous intimate relationships with more than one person at a time, with the knowledge and consent of all partners”.

What happens is that these four people, namely, Sarah, Chris, Charlie and Tom (from top left, clockwise), live together in a house, and have close relationships with each other’s partners, and they’re totally cool about it. They might also be cool to someone new joining their “circle”, but all parties have to agree. So what counts as crossing the line, you ask? Only if any party tells a lie.

While this practice may seem baffling to the majority of us, Sarah, Chris, Charlie and Tom, see it as a viable and arguably, legitimate alternative to monogamy. After all, they say, one learns to navigate monotony in monogamous relationships, and accordingly, in the case of polyamorous relationships, one learns to deal with jealousy. Apparently, the polyamorous circle has even come up with their own word, “compersion” to describe the “little warm glow that you get when you see somebody you really care about loving somebody else and being loved” — their “antidote” to jealousy.

Well, to be honest, we at Wedding & Travel can hardly see the attraction to polyamorous relationships. After all, we’ve seen so many perfect couples and weddings through the course of our jobs, and we have no doubt that monogamous relationships work. Surely, there can be no more beautiful thing than two people feeling brave enough to pledge themselves as the one and only to each other, and devoting effort and time to maintain the exclusive relationship. It is definitely not easy, and we want to pay homage to that. In the article, Charlie admits that she was afraid of commitment, and with a polyamorous relationship, she felt that she could love her partner as deeply as she wanted to, without the fear of breaking his heart if she fell in love with someone else. To be honest, this sounds a wee bit too self-serving for us — is this not just a lack of courage or will to believe that both of you are settling for the right person? There may be someone ‘better’ who could come along, but we all know that love can never be measured in the tangibles, and who’s to say who is better than who?

But of course, it is not our job to pass judgment on the lifestyles of other people. At the end of the day, all’s good as long as all parties are happy with the arrangement, and they live a fulfilling life, isn’t it? We won’t deny something different just because we won’t do the same ourselves. Diversity is the order of the day, and it is only right that we celebrate that.

We hope this was a thought-provoking piece to read. Do share with us your views, we’ll be waiting!