You’re Not Invited Cards

(Picture from here)

Received a fancy card in the mail and think it might be the invitation card to your best mate’s wedding? Well, don’t count on it yet. It seems that recently a most bizarre trend has been going around the bridal circles — the ‘you’re not invited’ cards.

As its name suggests, the “not invited” cards serve to inform recipients that they have been passed over to be invited to a wedding. Proponents of this trend insist that they bear no malice — some couples think that it would be better for the person to hear from themselves, rather than from the grapevine that they are not invited to the wedding. Others see it as a way of giving advance notice to “B-list” friends that they might be invited to fill in the place of an “A-list” friend who cannot make it to the event.

While the senders might have thought they were being considerate, recipients of the “not invited” cards, on the hand, have understandably felt rather scorned. First of all, many feel that senders of such cards are quite self-centred and narcissistic to assume that the recipient had expected to attend their wedding. Others also feel that as if not being invited isn’t enough, receiving this card is like a blatant snub that adds insult to injury. More believe that sending such cards is just an overt lack of etiquette and EQ.

Here at Wedding & Travel, we think that this strange trend might be a result of more couples opting to go smaller and more economical on their weddings; consequently, their guest lists have shrunk. Despite the well-meaning intentions of the couple, we are more inclined to think that recipients of the “not invited” cards would not take too kindly to being passed over. Well, maybe this might work in cultures where people are more open to such brutal honesty, but in Singapore where we still follow rather Asian values? Our two cents are they probably aren’t a good idea.

What is your take about “not invited” cards? Would you choose to send them out?